Monday, December 27, 2010

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tickle My Digits.

I got a new phone.
From Santa.
A smart phone.
It confuses me a great deal.
Is there an app for that?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Total Eclipse of the Eclipse

Tonight was 'The Last Time Before The World Ends In 2012 Lunar Eclipse'. Exciting, right?! The next will be in 2014. For the cockroaches, bedbugs, and mole people.

A full lunar eclipse coupled with the winter solstice? NASA reports that the last time these astronomical events took place in sync was on Dec. 21, 1638, and it won't happen again until at least 2094. Naturally, I was stoked. I am even home in the country, where you can see stars and UFOs and whatnot.

Welp, it's cloudy. Super cloudy. So me and brotherbear watched it stream on the interweb while talking about the legend of Slender Man. (Which only scares me because he's scared by it. The more you look for Slender Man, the more he looks for you. And the collective belief in him make him real. You paranoia yourself nutty! Seriously, research this thing. Watch some videos. Then try to fall asleep without thinking about it. Peeping around trees and looking in windows and dunking under the door frame. Fuck. That is one slender man!)

So the eclipse was eclipsed by clouds? Does that make it more special? Did the moon get shy? Are the clouds attention seeking bullies? Did Slender Man do it? Was it all a Truman Showesque ruse to allow brotherbear and me bonding time? Oh, what to make of it all?!?!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I can't feel my fingers.

Poverty breeds creativity. I'm crafting up a Christmas present storm! I've burned off all my fingertips and cut a chunk out of my finger. Shit is serious. Seriously crafty!

I cherish these moments. I can't wait to see it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010


Come see us tonight at the Knitting Factory!

Doors at 7. Cudzoo at 8. Sharp.

$10... BUT, all proceeds go to help homeless children have a very merry and warm and safe and healthy and loving holiday season. Through the Coalition for the Homeless.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

All I Want For Christmas Is CUDZOO!!

We three Queens of the New York are
Bare and sloshed and mumbling 'Gnar Gnar'
But come Monday
We will find our way

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

You, You, You Otter Know!

Did you know that otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't float apart?

Are you crying your face off? Because it's too sweet? And the world would be a better place if we all just help hands like the otters? If you want to call me and cry together over how sweet this is, please do. I don't sleep. I stay awake all night searching the internet for cute animals and beautiful dresses and facts about dinosaurs. Really.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Tomorrow is the day of the show, yall!

I am in The Thrilling Comedy of the True Beneficiaries of the 14th Amendment, series A.
It's real melodramatical and fun!

We the Corporate Personhood
10 minute PLAY FESTIVAL!


LIMITED ENGAGMENT – 4 shows only!
DECEMBER 7-15 @ THE KRAINE THEATER, 85 east 4th street
SERIES A: DECEMBER 7 & 14 – 8pm
SERIES B: DECEMBER 8 & 15 – 8pm

Admission: $0.00 – FREE!
Reservations are mandatory! Please email

SERIES A (December 7 & 14)
Seward, Kansas - Written by Matthew-Lee Erlbach & Directed by David F. Chapman
The soil is toxic, food is scarce, and corporate forces have taken control of all Kansas farms after a nuclear disaster. One farm in remote Seward may be the exception to the rulers.

Light Sweet Crude - Written by Melisa Tein & Directed by Nicole A. Watson
A snapshot of how great events affect small people, an illustration of the invisible connections we share with others, and a meditation on the responsibility of the corporation versus the responsibility of the individual.

The Thrilling Comedy of the True Beneficiaries of the 14th Amendment - Written by Julia Holleman & Directed by Steven Gillenwater
A comedic melodrama about how two scrappy young corporations in the 1880s persuade the Supreme Court to believe in their humanity using the only means at their disposal - passion, conviction, and, let's not forget, money.

They Think Our Favorite Color is Green - Written by Patricia Ione Lloyd & Directed by Pat Golden
Menthol cigarettes, buff black men and corporate America’s racism; or just another day in the U.S. of A. What have we learned from the world's leader of incarcerating its residents? How target advertising maximizes corporate profits, to laugh at tragedy, and how to get killer abs.

SERIES B (December 8 & 15)

Dammit, Office Girl! - Written by James Comtois & Directed by Danny Sharron
An employee pines, if not yearns, for an administrative assistant from afar. And by "afar," we mean "five feet away."

Brooklyn Skank - Written by Fernanda Coppel & Directed by Donya K. Washington
Leslie and Ryan work for Brooklyn Skank, an overpriced and trendy boutique in Brooklyn that is famous for its T-shirts that say "Made by a Brooklyn Skank." Part of their daily routine is answering the age-old question, "Are these Brooklyn Skank T-shirts actually made by a Skank?" Leslie and Ryan have a stock answer that is approved by the Brooklyn Skank Corporation, but as this story unravels you get the sense that Leslie and Ryan have no idea how these garments are made and who makes them.

The Foundation - Written by Jerome Parker & Directed by Axel Avin, Jr.
Lawrence has put his heart and soul into building a non-profit that aids inner cities on a national level. As he prepares to turn over his reign to his young nephew, the woman who helped him build the foundation plans her revenge for being passed over for the top position. A short play about the ties that bind mixed with live jazz.

Target Monologue - Written by Leegrid Stevens & Directed by Rachel Wohlander
Target reflects on his difficult childhood.

Oh, Donna - Written by Lucile Baker Scott, Directed By Jesse Geiger
In Oh Donna a beautiful young heiress (and friend of Paris Hilton's) who has orgasmic tendencies with organic juice and a few secrets, takes over the world's third largest communications company. Soon quite a bit of juice is spilled, along with a few drops of blood…

Please join us and get your incorporation on!
Jesse Cameron Alick
Artistic Director
Subjective Theatre Company