Sunday, October 31, 2010


Can you guess our costume??
My bow is a heavy flow lady pad.
Those blue thingies on my shirt? Tampons.
I had a blue stained panty liner on my butt crotch.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I Thought Love Don't Cost a Thing!

Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don't

Do I have to come right flat out and tell you everything?
Gimme some money

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Maura Kelly has Body Issues

Maura Kelly, a blogger for Marie Claire, wrote this article about the show Mike & Molly.

An excerpt:
'So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room...'

Freedom of speech is one thing, but being cruel and hateful is another. But it's her opinion and it should be taken with a grain of salt and blah blabbity blah blah. If it were about blacks or gays or women being objectified, it wouldn't fly! So how is it acceptable to attack someone solely based on their appearance/weight and non-medical opinion of their health?

Furthermore, fat men and skinny women are portrayed over and over again as couples in media. So, what? It's not gross if it's just the man? Because when it's a big lady with a skinny dude, it is always a sight gag, never as an actual relationship.

Perhaps she wanted to be an actress, but no matter how long she didn't eat, or how many times she purged, it just didn't happen for her. Maybe she's grumpy because she's hungry. Maybe she should attack the show for its poor writing and acting instead of the actors weight. Maybe she's just a bitch.

Later, she posted an apology at the end of her blog and spoke of her lifelong struggle with anorexia.

Boofuckinghoo, Ms. Kelly. You said it yourself, 'I think (insert eating disorder/body image problem) is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.' Well then Judy Judgement, that whole anorexia thing, maybe you should just put your mind to it!

Don't take your years of meals consisting of gummy bears and Dexatrim out on me.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

He Needs Some Pettin' and Lovin' on his Head

Just look at this little thing. I need to hold it in my bosom.
Who's da saddest widdle guy in da whole wide world?!

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. ~Dan Greenberg

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Less of Two Evils?

If I'm wearing roller skates, I have tits and tires.
Is that better, scary trucker or Williamsburg hipster?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Accio, Beautiful!

Why is she sooooo pretty?!

At Brown U, whenever she answers a question right, does someone yell, '10 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!!'? I hope so. Every time. I would think it was funny every time.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I love old Newport Cigarettes ads. Everyone is having themostfuneverintheirwholelives! I remember seeing them in various stashes of Playboys hidden around our house when I was little. Why did we get Playboy? Why weren't they hidden in a more efficient way that prevented a little kid from finding them? Were they, but I was just a kid genius? Who knows! Those aren't the important questions. These are the important questions:

Are her legs really short?

Why did you assume he would be able to sing?

So, I can just join either team?
She thinks you are turning 3 and you came yourself?

Why is he stealing that lesbians pumpkin?
Is he gonna fit?
Why are Johnny and Baby's stand-ins hugging those big condoms?
Is your favorite snack mustard on a potato chip, too?! SHUT UP!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Make your food Hot, Cold & Vicious

Here I go. Here I go. Here I go again.
Girls, what's my weakness? A well seasoned meal!
You make me wanna soup.


Monday, October 4, 2010

Going Down... muhahahaha!

Devil? Devil! Really? Did you mean Hellevator? Surely you meant Hellevator.

I am proposing a world wide strike of the movie Devil until it is renamed Hellevator.

Who's with me?!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Let Me In, Facebook.

Last night Sweetheart and I saw Let Me In and The Social Network.

We also ate our weight in popcorn (we had to keep a full bucket in order to pull off the double header movie sneak-in on opening night!) causing a tummy ache from which I am still recovering.

Let Me In is a gorey, funny, wincing good time. The kids are appropriately creepy, the 'ahhhh, cooooooooooome oooooooooooon' moments are gross and fun to watch through your fingers, and the story is actually pretty touching. The mean boy is really good at being a bully! I would be interested in seeing the Svedish version. See, I liked it enough to watch it in another language. Sweetheart loved it. I liked it a lot. That being said, I am the girl that sites Drag Me to Hell as one of my favorite horror movies to watch. *Spoiler Alert* She gets dragged to hell. Obvi, I value camp. Sometimes over substance.

The Social Network is great. I just don't know why. It's a movie about what might have happened in creating a website, and I loved it! Watching the struggle of idea ownership and cyber ownership was interesting and new. All the web jargon/growing/jokes/fun is applicable to everyone who has a facebook page, which is everyone, and feels modern and exciting. Even though all of us, from your milf to my backwoods druncle, has a facebook page, and the movie was sold out at every showing, it still felt intimate. Like a secret hipster club who all get this movie other generations wouldn't understand. Is this the backlash of special effects? Could our Star Wars be a movie about our technological abilities instead of featuring them? I certainly was more excited about The Social Network than Avatar. (Unless you are recreationally using drugs. Then Avatar still wins.) No, it probably isn't our Star Wars, but it is strange that a movie about a website is somehow defining of our generation. The acting was great entertainment, especially the twins (!), and the writing was spot on, sounding just like what me and all my friends think we sound like. Lots of groups stayed after the film to talk about it (as it was 2am, this is especially impressive) and people were excited. I guess our generations everyman ideal is a 20-something internet start-up success story. Weird! Another fun phenomenon, everyone whips out their phone as they are leaving the theater. No doubt, to update their status. I did.

Go see them both. If you can't do a super sneaky double header, pick your poison. Bloody suspense or cerebral wit? Neither will disappoint.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Brain, Brain, Go Away! Little Erin wants to Play!

My head is all a mess.

I can't seem to shake this gloomy, blue, sad, stay-in-bed-and-stop-participating-in-society feeling.

What to do?! Well, blog about it, for one! Who knows, maybe it leads to an answer. I'm willing to take the risk.

I try working out, talking it out, stuffing it, starving it, forgetting it, writing about it, rising above it, sinking below it, drugging it, sleeping it off... everything. I even resorted to seeking advise from my 10 year old friend. Surprisingly, more compassionate and valid than most adults, she still couldn't hit the nail on the head.

Although I am prone to, let's say, strong changes in emotion that affect everyone around me, I can usually shake the negative ones in a few days and hold on to the positive ones for months. As I am obnoxiously aware of myself and the people around me, I am pretty good about pinpointing the problem, using my words to process the feelings, and pushing through to the other side. I have a grasp on the epic disappointment that was the catalyst for the whole shitstorm, the ever present and never present straw that broke this camels back, but can't make my sparkle come back.

Equally frustrating, I am the mothertherapist in my circle of friendfamily. I am never the one you call to grab a drink, giggle over boys, and compare glitter. (Nonetheless, I am quite sure my regaled tales and glitter collection are above par.) I am the one you call when you are going to jump off the bridge. Or when you need someone with you at the cat hospital at 3am. Or when you are too sad and confused. Or when something bad happens. Or when revenge must be had. I need that friend for me now. Hell, I would settle for the grab-a-drink friend. Just someone who is sincere and tries to straighten things out in my brainhole. And who can talk and make sense and see things I can't. I don't know how to convey this or find this, but I need it.

A list of immediate thoughts to help my sanity-

My life would be easier with the following changes:
I am paying for my lifestyle in art alone.
The gym is more fun with easier results.
Food isn't yummy and expensive.
I make more money. Like enough to pay rent, for starters.
I don't have a job that comes home with me every day.
The cat litter doesn't smell so fucking bad ALL the time.
The cats don't tread said litter into my room ALL the time.
Friends are more.
Family is closer.
Relationships are always sparkly.
Babies are easy to have and be responsible for.
Karma comes around.
People aren't so selfish.
I learn to sleep.
I go on a secret dinosaur ride that I never share with anyone.

See, that helped a little. My friend Kirky helps put things into perspective. Not really making me feel any better or resolving anything, just reminding me that everything contains humor and we are going to be alright. We are smart people with strong support systems. And if there were anything else in the whole universe that made us even almost as happy as being an artist person, we are smart enough to have been doing that already. But there isn't. Thusly, we suffer with cause and ambition.

If I could just part the clouds and get back on track...

Are you my hero?