Jessie J, I Love You!

Jessie J will be performing at the PCRichard theater in NYC.

I MUST BE THERE!!

You should be there, too! She's so pretty!

Internet Dating

You're back! Hello, internet in my apartment. I missed you. I love you. Let's never be apart again! Wait, did you just check out that girl? What, just because you waltz back into my life you think you can look at other girls like that? No. No! Shut your mouthface! What? What! It's my nails isn't it? I knew I should have picked Firework and not High Heel. Fuck. I'm so stupid. Why do you want to spend your life with someone so stupid?! Maybe you should go ask that floozy out. Her skinny jeans and piercings suggest high intelligence. You think she's ugly? You're ugly. No you don't. You're just saying that. You do? You mean it? Really? I want to be with you, too. I know, but I told you I was crazy on our first date. I just missed you, is all. I love you, too. Don't. Don't look at her! I will cut that bitch. I missed you.

I'm Not Loving It.

A few days ago, I got really REALLY pissed at Time Warner (because they are a rude, blood sucking, monopoly with stupid employees with bad attitudes), and canceled our service.

Direct TV is awesome.

We are still waiting on our new Verizon powered internet.

I tried to hook up my computer to a human-size hamster wheel, a phone jack, and a candle, but it didn't make internet. So I wait.

I am at a McDonald's right now for McWiFi. I have witnessed 3 fights involving the same drunk homeless man, the cops coming, an employee who shit in the bathroom for 42 minutes while the security man beat on the door (he thought he died) and a long line of angry customer formed, a gang of teenagers knock things over, and lots of questionable characters eating the Fish Filet special. I think they are only playing Taylor Swift and John Mayer songs.

This is what it must have been like in the old days!

Face it, it's Facebook.

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