It's day 5 of the Master Cleanse. I'm hungry. And bored to tears of lemon maple death juice. And having a hard time keeping up with the amount of toilet paper needed when you salt water flush and drink poop tea every day! It's a lot.
Making matters worse, Friday morning, our toilet just stopped flushing. I called Landlord Guido Gus at 9:15am. He said he would be there to fix it by 5. Around 4:30, I began calling again. I called and texted over and over again. Roommate called and texted multiple times. Sweetheart called from 3 different numbers at work. He did not answer. Around 7, I began looking up plumbers.
9ish pm, Sweats McStinky from RotoRooter shows up. Ours estimate, $200 + parts, which should be $30-$60. We need a toilet, so yes! After Sweats McStinky disassembles our industrial tankless toilet, he realizes he doesn't have the right parts after all, and will need to go find them Saturday morning. Our toilet has a special brand that is hard to find and not compatible with other brands. This will cost more. Around $400.
He leaves, I salt water flush and push down my hard work by dumping trashcans full of water in the toilet. It is really something else.
FYI: pouring a bucket of water in a toilet with a broken flusher makes it flush.
Saturday, I was on set filming a movie, and roommate was busy, so we couldn't be home during the day. Luckily, Sweats McStinky works until midnight. Sweats McStinky came back about 10pm Saturday night. He ended up just buying a whole new section of toilet piping. He took a very long time, made a huge horrible mess (that he didn't clean up), smelled funny, was a little creepy, and sweated a lot (reminiscent of Brother Bear's roommate, Dirty Gnome). Then gave us our bill of over $700. That is very different from his estimate. It takes a shitbox to fix the shitter, I guess.
He left, I salt water flushed and made mess some more, and all is back to normal. We are just going to deduct our bill from rent and assume that's OK. We reported the problem, it's not our fault Landlord Guido Gus never showed up (and we still haven't heard from him). How long can you expect a household to survive without a working toilet?! I hope we don't have to go on Judge Judy!
This makes me less hungry.