I love old Newport Cigarettes ads. Everyone is having themostfuneverintheirwholelives! I remember seeing them in various stashes of Playboys hidden around our house when I was little. Why did we get Playboy? Why weren't they hidden in a more efficient way that prevented a little kid from finding them? Were they, but I was just a kid genius? Who knows! Those aren't the important questions. These are the important questions:
Are her legs really short?
Why did you assume he would be able to sing? 
So, I can just join either team?
She thinks you are turning 3 and you came yourself?
Why is he stealing that lesbians pumpkin?
Is he gonna fit?
Why are Johnny and Baby's stand-ins hugging those big condoms?
Is your favorite snack mustard on a potato chip, too?! SHUT UP!! 
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