Wednesday, March 9, 2011

If You Like It Then You Shoulda Put Your Finger In It!

I am looking into finger adding surgery so I can have all of these and wear them all at once with proper spacing to allow the viewer to appreciate each ring. I mean, I don't want to look gaudy!

So I can always find my way around the city, the Gotham ring. I will wear with my Batman earrings. Because that's adorable.

The I Want To Shoot You Dead ring. Makes any finger the fuck you finger!

The Sharpener On-The-Go ring. It says, 'I'm an architect' or 'I'm a student' or 'I write in library books in a responsible way' or 'I'm prepared for anything' or, in my case, 'I appreciate a good sharp tip on my eyebrow pencil.'

The Gas Mask ring. Let people know YOUR FINGER will survive WWIII, the zombie apocalypse, otherworldly intelligent beings dominating our planet, nuclear winters, and nights when your partner's farts smell like warm cat food, boiled eggs, and French's fried onions mixed together and shit back out in the form of acidic gag air poofs.

And my favorite, the Heroin Really Is Chic SyRINGe. This and a naughty nurse outfit are enough to make me consider the Florence Nightingale path. Many people become doctors to help others, I want to be a doctor for the cheeky jewelry and funny death goofs.

Ring ding dong. Ring a ding ding ding dong. I want these.

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