Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Nanny By Day...

I babysit an adorable little red-headed sass machine. I started working with her when she was 5. Now she's 11! Whoa! She's like my own! What used to be titty tats (she couldn't say her 'k's) and coloring is now, 'How old are you when you have sex' and 'So... tampons. Where do they go?'

When I am not a Nanny, I am in a filthy dirty doo-wop band, tart clients up with hair and make-up, make sailors blush with my colorful explicatives, shoot whiskey like a pro, and often times perform in plays/films with questionable content.

Occasionally, Red has come along with me into my other life. She has sat backstage and pretended not to hear what is being said on the other side of the dressing room wall, she has met my weirdo friends, she has seen my perverse home decorating, and she was even there for part of the recording of the Cudzoo album. Sometimes she says 'ass' and 'hell', 'because they are in the Bible, so they aren't so bad', she explained.

Basically, she's the coolest and she has the coolest babysitter in the world, and gets to do super cool (mildly inappropriate) things that make her friends jealous. I even encourage her to get in a little trouble now and then as long as she understands that she has to suffer the consequences if she gets caught.

I hope she looks back on our time together one day and says, 'What the fuck were my parents thinking?!'

I love you, little soulmate!

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