Team Busy Bee. Team Llama.

I have been so busy! I haven't had time to keep this baby updated. And there has been so much! The following paragraph is my stream of conscience ramblings on what I would have blogged about if I had had time to blog:

I got asked to do a bit part in an upcoming movie, Shoplifting from American Apparel. I worked with this director before on the film The Human War and had a blast. I was also submitted for a JCPenny's commercial. I have been shopping there since I was an awkward teen in need of a business suit for DECA club and too chubby to find jackshit at the Limited Too. There is no reason why I shouldn't get cast. I consider it retribution for years of suffering in ugly ass clothes as a chubby young thing. Cudzoo is doing well. Can't wait to get in the studio. I got to visit with my forever friend Joe Pug. He's famous. You don't know him? You should. He will fix your soul. Fame's not making him an asshole, though. He was always an asshole. Dottie is doing better, she was a sick little kitten for a few days, but she still eats everything and gets tummy aches. She ate the straps off my tank top the other day. Brotherbear's band played at the Wildhorse Saloon in Nashville and killed it. He's kinda a big deal. I caught up with a great old college chumette. I discovered Sake. It fucks you up! I miss Quidditch because I'm always super busy on the weekends with weddings and rehearsals and life. I miss my broom and cape! Scream 4 was fun. As was Source Code and Insidious. It's warm enough to break out my vintage poncho. I figured out how to apply feather extensions. My kombucha is brewing steady. I need new sneakers. And tonight I am going to a Oh So Bad/Oh So Good Movie Screening Party of The Room. I can't wait!

Well, thats the jumbled update of my goings ons. Now to the gym. But not before I make your day/ruin your night with this sad, funny, not as sexy as a werewolf comparison pic:

Nanny By Day...

I babysit an adorable little red-headed sass machine. I started working with her when she was 5. Now she's 11! Whoa! She's like my own! What used to be titty tats (she couldn't say her 'k's) and coloring is now, 'How old are you when you have sex' and 'So... tampons. Where do they go?'

When I am not a Nanny, I am in a filthy dirty doo-wop band, tart clients up with hair and make-up, make sailors blush with my colorful explicatives, shoot whiskey like a pro, and often times perform in plays/films with questionable content.

Occasionally, Red has come along with me into my other life. She has sat backstage and pretended not to hear what is being said on the other side of the dressing room wall, she has met my weirdo friends, she has seen my perverse home decorating, and she was even there for part of the recording of the Cudzoo album. Sometimes she says 'ass' and 'hell', 'because they are in the Bible, so they aren't so bad', she explained.

Basically, she's the coolest and she has the coolest babysitter in the world, and gets to do super cool (mildly inappropriate) things that make her friends jealous. I even encourage her to get in a little trouble now and then as long as she understands that she has to suffer the consequences if she gets caught.

I hope she looks back on our time together one day and says, 'What the fuck were my parents thinking?!'

I love you, little soulmate!

CUDZOO does Don Pedros!

CUDZOO TONIGHT!!

Shit's about to get real! I'm on a dollar bill/penny real!

I don't know what that means, but you should come!

Arlene's Grocery @ 10:30

E-Bomb likey!

CUDZOO CHRISTMAS!!

Come see us tonight at the Knitting Factory!

Doors at 7. Cudzoo at 8. Sharp.

$10... BUT, all proceeds go to help homeless children have a very merry and warm and safe and healthy and loving holiday season. Through the Coalition for the Homeless.

All I Want For Christmas Is CUDZOO!!

We three Queens of the New York are
Bare and sloshed and mumbling 'Gnar Gnar'
But come Monday
We will find our way
to the CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR!

Happenis!

If you are free...

CUDZOO & the Faggettes @ Arlene's Grocery Tonight

Potty mouths, whiskey drinkers, closet whatevers, dancing queens, sparkle divas, glitterholes, and those who laugh at pussyfarts...

SEE YOU TONIGHT!!

Capitalism Is What People Do If You Leave Them Alone

Found: Mint Green Patent Sandals for $9.99...

But ended up being $5, as I bought another pair, making this pair half off. Well worth $5, except for the awkward low toe strap. It was tight, not very stylish, and reminded me of my strappy high school awards banquet* shoes. No thank you!

I imagined a better shoe...

I am 37% sure this is gonna work. That's pretty good odds for $5...

Make strap mustache to postpone outcome...

Just as I suspected, cute as a button! My right foot is modeling said full priced pair. LOVE IT!

Also acquired this week...

PINK DINOSAUR EARRINGS! Kate convinced me I needed them. She picked out some Chocolate Covered Doughnuts with Sprinkles earrings for herself.

Also, a fedora, a flower to put on my fedora, and a giant bow. For life and CUDZOO.

I love being a spendthrift every now and again. I don't know how I would have survived without these treasures! They are inexpensive, Erinesque, and able to inspire happiness. Bless retail therapy!

*Specifically, the white shoes I wore to the Athletic Awards Banquet my senior year, where I was awarded Scholastic Athlete of the Year, one of the most prestigious awards. Let that be a lesson to all you high school kids out there who cheat on your Spanish tests and are moderately coordinated! You, too, can get a placard with your name on it.

Saturday Vanity

This man is Shu Uemura...


He wants you to buy this...
Admittedly, the best eyelash curler on the market, but super expensive compared to its curling counterparts. And it only come with one refill, which promptly disappears as soon as you have unwrapped your shiny new tool. And Shu does not offer refills. He doesn't want you to have them. He wants you to replace your entire beauty gadget!

No more, Shu. No more! After a bit or trial and error, I discovered Essence of Beauty's dirt cheap refills fit. And work.
Take that, Japan!

CUDZOO & the Faggettes

The Prettiest Girls with the Filthiest Mouths...

And it's really important that you know I am in the most important band in the history of music*, CUDZOO & the Faggettes. We do interviews, thats how you know we are important.

*says me