Nanny By Day...

I babysit an adorable little red-headed sass machine. I started working with her when she was 5. Now she's 11! Whoa! She's like my own! What used to be titty tats (she couldn't say her 'k's) and coloring is now, 'How old are you when you have sex' and 'So... tampons. Where do they go?'

When I am not a Nanny, I am in a filthy dirty doo-wop band, tart clients up with hair and make-up, make sailors blush with my colorful explicatives, shoot whiskey like a pro, and often times perform in plays/films with questionable content.

Occasionally, Red has come along with me into my other life. She has sat backstage and pretended not to hear what is being said on the other side of the dressing room wall, she has met my weirdo friends, she has seen my perverse home decorating, and she was even there for part of the recording of the Cudzoo album. Sometimes she says 'ass' and 'hell', 'because they are in the Bible, so they aren't so bad', she explained.

Basically, she's the coolest and she has the coolest babysitter in the world, and gets to do super cool (mildly inappropriate) things that make her friends jealous. I even encourage her to get in a little trouble now and then as long as she understands that she has to suffer the consequences if she gets caught.

I hope she looks back on our time together one day and says, 'What the fuck were my parents thinking?!'

I love you, little soulmate!

Tiny Soul-mate.

Soul-mates come in all forms. Some more adorable than others.

Works for Nanny's, too.

His dream. Her nightmare.

Happy MLK Day!

Bieber Fever.

Today is my friend Kate's birthday. She's 11. This is what happens when a bunch of 11 year old girls play Pin the Hair on Justin Beiber.

Just So We Are Clear. No Bieber Fever Here.

My Hallows Are Deathly

Sweetheart and I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. At midnight. Opening day. It was so good! Scary and dark and fast paced. I loved it!

My only complaint is that I have to wait so long to see the conclusion. And that there weren't more enthusiastic superfans at the Astoria theater. We did get recognized for being on the NY quidditch team. That was fun.

My Hermione crush is huge. Like Harry's new 9 1/2 inch wand. Yum.

I knew I would lose my heart with Hedwig and Dobby, but I was still taken aback with sadness. To be fair, I may be a little too tenderhearted. The 10 year old I babysit won't go see movies with me anymore because i wept through Hotel for Dogs. It's just that those dogs overcame so much and just wanted to be loved and don't we all...

Potter. Right. Bellatrix was horribly wonderful. I want to spend 7 minutes in the dungeon with Snape and Voldomort, and Hermione... did I mention how pretty she is?!

Go see it. And, if you haven't yet, for God's sake, read the damn books. Son of a muggle! I know, I know... just do it. You will like it.

Fuck Yeah!

Tit Tit Pee Poo

Milk Milk

Lemonade

Around the Corner

Fudge is Made

Capitalism Is What People Do If You Leave Them Alone

Found: Mint Green Patent Sandals for $9.99...

But ended up being $5, as I bought another pair, making this pair half off. Well worth $5, except for the awkward low toe strap. It was tight, not very stylish, and reminded me of my strappy high school awards banquet* shoes. No thank you!

I imagined a better shoe...

I am 37% sure this is gonna work. That's pretty good odds for $5...

Make strap mustache to postpone outcome...

Just as I suspected, cute as a button! My right foot is modeling said full priced pair. LOVE IT!

Also acquired this week...

PINK DINOSAUR EARRINGS! Kate convinced me I needed them. She picked out some Chocolate Covered Doughnuts with Sprinkles earrings for herself.

Also, a fedora, a flower to put on my fedora, and a giant bow. For life and CUDZOO.

I love being a spendthrift every now and again. I don't know how I would have survived without these treasures! They are inexpensive, Erinesque, and able to inspire happiness. Bless retail therapy!

*Specifically, the white shoes I wore to the Athletic Awards Banquet my senior year, where I was awarded Scholastic Athlete of the Year, one of the most prestigious awards. Let that be a lesson to all you high school kids out there who cheat on your Spanish tests and are moderately coordinated! You, too, can get a placard with your name on it.

Arts & Farts & Crafts

one of my jobs is to hang out with the most amazing young mind in the world!

her name is Kate.

i started watching her when she was 5. she is now 10.

she tells me i am no longer her babysitter, but her tweensitter.

soulmates come in all forms!

today we made a photo collage decoupage frame with I LOVE YOU photobooth pics inside. and a hand crafted apron. for her mom's bday. frame, maybe my favorite craft in a while. turned out really cute. you may get one for xmas.