Strays and Gays

Two of my favorite things... Strays and Gays.

Adopt shelter animals. Who else survived against the odds, just to welcome you home every day, and love you forever?!

Equality for all. Who else is gonna do your hair and make your clothes and tell you how fabulous you are?!

Idle Hands are Hungry

Bored + Cleanse* = Hungry.

Ambidextrous nail art keeps my hands busy and my brain occupied.

Left Mitten:

Right Mitten:

Thumbelinas:

*Minor cheat: I sucked on a persimmon that was going bad. I didn't want to waste it!

#599

My sweetheart and I went to the Yankees game last night. He bought me a pink foam finger (I always wanted one) and a baseball keychain with our picture in it. SO CUTE! We had beers, cheesy garlic fries, and steak sandwiches. We yelled, we cursed, we clapped, we took pictures everytime A-Rod took a swing.

Alas, we didn't witness homerun #600. It happend today, at the very next game.

The Yankees lost, but that didn't matter. I still got to leave with my big pink foam finger.

You Make Me Wanna Throw My Bagel Out the Window

You don't know? Beyonce Knowles the drill...
Everything edible in the box to the left.

Today I have to eat everything in the house. It will help with Fighting Temptations.
Tomorrow starts the Master Cleanse.

I did the cleanse once before. No, no, no, no, nothing really happened. I made it about 5 or 7 days. I wasn't hungry, but I also wasn't cleansed. I just drank gross juice with no Bug-A-Poo.

This time, I'm hoping for change (Obama wasn't president during my last attempt). Not buying food will help with the Bills, Bills, Bills, I'm gonna look even more Bootylicious than usual, and I will use games, such as Halo, as a welcome distraction.

When I wanna act up, I gotta keep drink in my cup.... My Dereon jeans are tight! I'll walk by Burger King and be all, "You breakin' my focus, boy. You cute and you ballin'. See you in 10 days."

Irreplaceable? Carbs!
Nonetheless, I'm Down to Ride til the Very End, Me and My Master Cleanse.

Don't fuck with me, Honey B!

Take a Bite out of Shark Week with these Fun Facts

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that. ~Jack Handey

• If you type (^^^) in Facebook chat, a shark happens.
• Sharks hunted the oceans even before Dinosaurs roamed the earth!
• Sharks will eat sharks.
• Baby sharks can be born 3 ways. Laid eggs (like birds), eggs hatch inside mother shark and are then born, pups grow inside of mother (like humans).
• Sharks have an extra sensory organ, the ampullae of Lorenzini, to 'feel' the electrical field of their prey.
• The Cookiecutter Shark eats perfectly round circles out of its live prey.
• Mako Sharks jump out of the water and into your boat.
• Great White Sharks are fucking scary and shit!
• A shark can smell one drop of blood in a million drops of water.
• Before the invention of sandpaper, shark skin was used.
• The Bull Shark can live in fresh and salt water.
• A sharks brain sleep half at a time.
• Whale Sharks, the biggest fish in the world, have skin 10cm thick.

Smile, you son of a Bitch!

Where in the World

Capitalism Is What People Do If You Leave Them Alone

Found: Mint Green Patent Sandals for $9.99...

But ended up being $5, as I bought another pair, making this pair half off. Well worth $5, except for the awkward low toe strap. It was tight, not very stylish, and reminded me of my strappy high school awards banquet* shoes. No thank you!

I imagined a better shoe...

I am 37% sure this is gonna work. That's pretty good odds for $5...

Make strap mustache to postpone outcome...

Just as I suspected, cute as a button! My right foot is modeling said full priced pair. LOVE IT!

Also acquired this week...

PINK DINOSAUR EARRINGS! Kate convinced me I needed them. She picked out some Chocolate Covered Doughnuts with Sprinkles earrings for herself.

Also, a fedora, a flower to put on my fedora, and a giant bow. For life and CUDZOO.

I love being a spendthrift every now and again. I don't know how I would have survived without these treasures! They are inexpensive, Erinesque, and able to inspire happiness. Bless retail therapy!

*Specifically, the white shoes I wore to the Athletic Awards Banquet my senior year, where I was awarded Scholastic Athlete of the Year, one of the most prestigious awards. Let that be a lesson to all you high school kids out there who cheat on your Spanish tests and are moderately coordinated! You, too, can get a placard with your name on it.